the big picture.

Disciple Now this weekend! A lot of things were different about this year. It was the first year I was able to lead a group instead of just being a student, or helping out behind the scenes. I was excited about this, but definitely not expecting how much God would use the weekend to teach, challenge and grow me up.


Lately I've been doing a lot of growing up. I can feel the Lord using people, situations and different things in my life to open my heart to the things of God and honestly, its been hard. This weekend was no exception. We talked about The Big Picture--what does a life that is filled with the Spirit look like? How do we focus on the Lord and the Spirit and not on the sin? How do we encourage each other and show others we are different? This weekend basically summed up everything I've been learning the last month and half or more.


Ethan has a way of being so honest, and often blunt, that I've never been around so consistently. Lately he's been helping me to see the things in my life that I have been trying to ignore, and encouraged me so much in my walk with the Lord. The more I seek God, the more I find Him. Just like He promised in His Word. This weekend just reminded me of what a life that is surrendered to the Lord looks like and it was so encouraging. So challenging to face my sin square on, but so good to remember that the Lord sees me every minute of every day, and still loves me anyway. God is bigger than my sin, bigger than my guilt, bigger than my doubt. And repentance which follows grace leads to a life that glorifies Christ. How great our God is!

It was also great to see friends, especially old encouraging ones like this one. Although she is not a Chi O, she was proudly decked in her cardinal and straw and told me if I got her a tshirt, she'd be a Chi O for life! God just reminds me everyday of how much people in my life can encourage me and teach me. Meredith has always been such a consistent example of someone who loves Jesus, and what's not to love about her? Plus she's just stinking cool. 

Led a small group with Lebbie and Riles came to visit. Tribe love, summer 09, reunited. What a reunion. I love also the times I get to spend with LEB when she's serious. Although these times are rare, I am always so excited to see God growing her up and teaching her new things. What a sweet, fun, crazy friend.

ouch.

"One of the great uses of Twitter and Facebook will be to prove at the Last Day that prayerlessness was not from lack of time." - John Piper

t-7 days.

A few of my favorite things:

1. The Laurens. One week from today and we will be making rachael sandwiches again.

2. Lauren in the orange made it home safely from Botswana yesterday, which means my roommate will indeed be living and well for all sorts of mischief in the coming weeks.

3. Its about to be the spring semester.

4. It is no longer the winter semester of 2009. PRAISE. HIM.

5. I love my friends.

The life of a non-college going student....

I have been home for approximately 46 days. This means that "college life" has been pretty much non-existent with the exception of a trip to Clinton and a couple visits to Tuscaloosa. What's life like for a college student who doesn't have class for six weeks? Wonderful.


I got to thinking about how ironic it is that as a senior in high school you make a choice that will affect the next four years of your life, or the rest of your life depending on how you look at it. When I was deciding where to go to school I just KNEW I wanted some place fresh, some place to make new friends and be "on my own". While this sounded appealing, not because I didn't like home, but because home had been the same for 18 years, I wasn't really aware of how much I would end up missing home.


I realized this over the break of six weeks. I have been home, I have had meals with my family, I have painted a new room (and slept late in it each morning), I have had time to relax and watch tv shows that aren't important but that I can't get enough of (the bachelor.... and american idol...). I have had so much good time with Ethan, with my friends, with my family. Just time to rest, to catch up, and to get ready for the semester to come. Precious time with the Lord to be honest, to worship, and to grow. Time to realize that I may have a few things about myself that I hadn't seen until recently (thanks to a patient, encouraging boyfriend of mine).


My favorite part of being home for so long though, is that my understanding of home has changed. The things I thought I had had enough of, I miss more than anything. I miss my mom when I am in Jackson. I miss my dog, the comfort of knowing that my dad will pick on me and I will pretend to be annoyed, the security of knowing that my church will feel like home, and my friends will be there on Sunday. The good feeling I get each day I spend with someone I love. And while I love Jackson, and I know I am supposed to be at Union, I have just been able to grow up enough to appreciate the familiar. And that's something I'm not ready to leave just yet. One more week!

I know that you are for me.

Spent the weekend in Tuscaloosa with friends which was great, except for the hate letter left on my windshield by an angry Alabama fan against LSU. probably just jealous to only have one national championship in this century. hmm...

God is moving in Tuscaloosa and its amazing to see every time I go. Friday night I spent the afternoon and evening with Meredith at dinner and the "gymnastics game". We went to a house where five guys live, and it was unreal how Christ centered the atmosphere was. At one point I looked around at the different conversations going on and there were three Bibles out.. it was like being at Union ;)

Saturday I spent the day painting with Miss Kendall and Tori just talking about the things the Lord has been teaching us, encouraging one another, and just being in the fellowship of believers.

Saturday night was the most incredible, renewing worship experience I think I have ever been a part of. Kari Jobe of Gateway Worship led a worship concert at Valley View's D-now (talk about some d-now...). In the words of Meredith, "She could have read the phone book and my heart would still be worshipping." The authority she leads with, and the amazing lyrics of worship that she sang just gave a new freshness to what it looks like to be honest with our God. I wept, I laughed, I sang and danced and praised the Lord without reservations. It was the most intimately, vulnerable but wonderful time with the Lord to just ask Him anything and know He is big enough to answer!

God can use the most unlikely people and places to encourage us. Just sitting in a room of girls, painting and laughing can be the most uplifting time. Just talking to someone I had just met and remembering what its like to be in a hard situation can humble you in a heartbeat. God is so good, so sovereign, and so  consistent in the way that He leads.

Everyone should download something by Kari Jobe, and pronto ;)

You Are For Me by Kari Jobe

So faithful, So constant, So loving and so true

So powerful in all you do

You fill me, you see me

You know my every move

You love for me to sing to you

I know that you are for me

I know that you are for me

I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness

I know that you have come down

Even if to write upon my heart

To remind me who you are

So patient, so gracious, so merciful and true.

So wonderful in all you do

You fill me, you see me

You know my every move

You love for me to sing to you

LoVE

Yesterday was a weird day... the bottom fell out like a flood was coming, I was home alone most of the evening, and you know those moods you have that you can't quite explain but they just aren't pleasant? So I spent the night painting. Surwic had shown me this painting she liked and I decided to put a little twist on it so it could match her room at school.

My mom has learned to take an everyday hobby like knitting, which she loves and is amazing at, and turn it into a ministry. Instead of just knitting prayer shawls, she just knits and prays then gives these amazing, hand-made and heart-felt gifts that are more of a blessing than she ever knows.

I was painting yesterday and realized I had the same ability to use painting as a ministry. So while I was painting red zebra stripes, I started using the time just to pray. Pray for Lauren, pray for her life and for what she's going through each day, pray for our friendship, and for heart. It was such a cool thing to see how God can find His way into any and every circumstance. I loved it! And it made the painting that much more special. Now when I give her this gift in a few weeks, I can tell her there's more to it than just paint.

change of heart.

If something is done the same way for years, does that mean it has to be the only way you can do it? I think not! So this year we decided to spruce it up a bit. I spent the afternoon with Ging working on invitations for initiation and they look GREAT! We used some card stock, vellum, and a wonderful laser printer that made years of somewhat dull look somewhat better.

I decided that this concept of sprucing things up, even if it means changing how things have always been, is a good thing. I read the verse in Hebrews last night about drawing near to God. 

"Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." (Hebrews 10:22-24)

Drawing near to God does not have to be at a specific time of the week, or even the same time each day. It means turning our heart to a God who is always there and always willing to spend time with us. I think my heart could use some sprucing!

Garden by Needtobreathe

Let the songs I sing bring joy to you. Let the words I say profess my love. Let the notes I choose be your favorite tune. Father let my heart be after you.

adios America.

Melanie left today for South Africa. After weeks and months of packing, she finally headed overseas for a few years of working and serving with Living Hope. Its exciting to know how she will have such an opportunity to serve in Capricorn, but its bittersweet seeing such an incredible friend leaving. Which is part of why I am so excited to get to travel there for a month or so this summer! What's even more strange is that fact that summer will actually be winter there! What are you doing for summer? Winter.

Being home for so long from school has given me a lot of time to spend with Melanie, getting to help her pack her house up, pack her bags (under 50 pounds.. right), and pack her life into boxes that will wait for her patiently while she lives on a different continent for three years. Melanie has been one of the most consistent stable friends I have ever known, becoming more of a mentor and encouragement than anything else. I'll miss getting to run down the hill for coffee and visits with her precious puppy Pickles. But three years isn't too long, right?

Here are some ways to pray for Melanie: 
-For rest amongst the long travel Jan 18 & 19.
-For wisdom as she starts a new job for youth discipleship in Cape Town.
-To find friends and community to "do life together".
-For her adjusting to the time-change quickly.
-For Satan's attacks to be void and the Lord's voice to be so loud!
-For John and Avril Thomas-South African Missionaries at Living Hope.
-For Living Hope's funding and AIDS Prevention Programs.
-Growth in the Capricorn Church-new pastor and youth pastor on board!
-For strength in a new place, physically and emotionally.
Ethan had to head back to school today as well, not all of us can skip school until February! Now that my room makeover is complete, my next project I think might be making a tshirt quilt. Staying busy seems to be the best way not to miss friends! :)
Oh and ps... I FINALLY learned what my favorite pattern is called. Damask. Not toille, or "that pattern I love"... its called damask. So next time you need to look for some fabric, you can know what you are talking about. :)