dig

I've never read the Bible cover to cover. I've heard many of the stories, embraced the truth of the Word, but I've never fully dug into the truth of the Gospel from the beginning of time to the revelation of what is to come.

I felt called to ministry for the first time in 7th grade at Student Life Camp in Louisiana when I was 12 years old. At the time I very clearly felt the Lord speaking into my life by saying "Rachael, I am the vine and you are the branch, but you are not abiding in me." I felt the undeniable truth that my life was selfish, but that God had bigger plans for me. And if I were to follow them into a life of ministry, then my life had to change -- even then, beginning 8th grade.

Since that calling has resonated in my life I have pursued experience, service opportunities, leadership and guidance. I've tried to learn about ministry, I've even taught about ministry, but there's one piece to the puzzle I've been missing. People's advice is good, often well-intended and wise. But the greatest Words of all are those penned by the hands of men directly led by the Spirit of the Lord in the context of the Holy Bible. GOD'S Words, above all else, are a lamp to the feet, salt to the earth, light to the world, and yet.... I do not know many of them. Some I may have never even heard. Old Testament books... stories in the form of parables... I've heard them in Sunday school, or in sermons or through Bible studies, but what about directly from the mouth of the Lord? That's what I need to hear. That's real truth. Not tainted by one man's perception or spoken by a spin to create attraction, but real, honest truth.

The Word.

Tomorrow I am going to begin reading the Bible in 90 days. The challenge is large because the Word has so much to offer -- who can really embrace it all in 90 days? I could read for years and never fully understand or comprehend the size of my God. But I want to start first by simply hearing the Word so that the rest of my life and pursuit of ministry can be committed to the true Word, the one that matters most. So Meredith and I will be reading together through the Scriptures and digging into the truths of the Bible. I am beyond excited.

The discipline of reading Scripture is one I have often failed in over the years. I can read bits and pieces, or reference the Word when I have a problem, but the Bible has so much more to gain from. So my prayer is that through this season I become a vehicle for truth to be expressed and gained. My prayer is that God is foremost glorified, that in my weakness I point only to Christ and not to myself as if to say, "look at me, how good I am..." No my prayer is that in taking the Word of life in each day I cannot help but pour it back out, through my words, my actions, my attitudes. I pray His Word becomes so alive and active in my heart it cannot be contained inside my soul! I pray I pour it out! And I pray, most of all, that my heart is humbled through the rebuke and correction His truth offers.. and that the darkest parts of my self are exposed to the light.

Let's dig.

saving grace

This is Donkey. And I won't lie... he's my favorite.

This is Jessie. And today we helped him obtain his very first ID.

This is TeShayla, Donkey, Rob and Zee. Wednesday night is the highlight of my week as all the little ones come and eat pizza, sing songs, and generally make my heart melt.

Today was such a breath of fresh air after the last few days of constant going and going... and going. The man who I helped apply for disability has 9 children. Today I spent the morning with his youngest son Jessie tracking down all sorts of paperwork and forms for him to be able to apply to a job corp in MS. Jessie has no ID, no SS card, and only obtained his birth certificate last week after we helped him fill out the forms and mail them to Wisconsin where he was born. I have never been so grateful for my mom and dad having kept all our essentials in a safe place. 

These basic necessities that we use so frequently are often lost, never kept, or misplaced in the homes of the children we work with. Things change frequently -- like address, phone number, location... and life seems to be a constant toss up. So today was somewhat of a rat race tracking down his information from the social security office, then the high school he dropped out of, then the dmv, and so on and so forth. But his precious smile made it all worthwhile as he was practically giddy about his new, and only, ID.

I keep smiling at the precious children the Lord is allowing me to minister to because they make everything seem worthwhile. What is not to love about those little faces and bright smiles with gold-capped teeth? I can't think of a thing.

Social Work Day

Although this internship is not always "social work" focused, yesterday was like a lesson in all the things I've learned the last four years. It was overwhelming to be honest.

There's a gentlemen who has grown up at Calvary and lived in the inner city of Jackson his whole life. He is 56 years old and has had quite a life. He has 9 children, his wife left their family years ago for crack and prostitution, and he stuck around. His family life is crazy- children in prison, others on the street, some who stick around for money or help. He cannot read or write, he was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer in 2010, and his life has been falling apart for years. But in the midst of this, he is absolutely precious and has a heart of gold. He smiles and laughs, loves to come sit and share stories, and just listening to him can brighten my day.

However, because of his cancer, he can't do much work. I had the privilege of working with him to set up an appointment at the social security office and help him apply for disability. But yesterday I was saddened at the weight of his struggle and his look of defeat. As we sat down with the SS Employee, I could instantly tell this would be a struggle. She was hardened, had the attitude like she had seen plenty of folks cheat the system, and how would she know that this man was any different? As politely, yet determinedly as possible, we began to explain his situation and advocate his need for disability.

She listened, but barely. She spoke harsh words and asked questions loaded with doubt. I watched this sweet man start to feel defeat, with tears in his eyes, his spirit sunk. I started praying eagerly for the Lord to first strengthen him, but to soften her. I asked for God's blessing on the situation, to give us the words to say and give this employee the desire to listen. Afterall, she would set the pace for the process and advocate for his application once we left.

Eventually, she came around, thanks to the Lord. I watched her start to actually listen, to soften, to speak more kindly to him. He began to share truthfully his feelings and his situation, and I think she began to see the pressing need on his life -- the pain he experiences daily was clearly conveyed. At the end of our time, we were not denied, but the process was sent on through the forms stage which could lead to a potential hearing, and with the right advocates and many many prayers, he could receive disability in the next 60-90 days.

What hit me so hard in the middle of this was just how broken our system is and how hard it makes advocating for those who deserve and need help. The ones who take advantage create walls for the ones in pain to climb, even though they've been climbing through hoops already. It's devastating to see the humanity of the system and know there is not much to do for change other than persist prayerfully that some light would be shed on how to offer hope and help efficiently and effectively.

My little social work world was blown yesterday. But I couldn't help but thinking the Lord had put me in that situation for a reason. I went with this man and was able to see the world through his eyes for just a minute, and it broke my heart. But that's the exact place the Lord can begin to move and change us if we let him!

wisdom

Been pondering these words from my mentor and friend Melanie Dill. She's living in Cape Town, South Africa working with Living Hope and learning firsthand the trials and hardships of ministering to the poor. This statement was a great way of explaining what a life sold out to the Gospel sounds like:

When you have no way to help yourself, all the glory goes to God in even the smallest triumphs. It's a beautiful problem to have.

Mel's blog

his heart

I've never given up anything for Lent. The 40 days leading up to Easter have never been stressed growing up so I never gave it much thought. But since I'm at Calvary and in a different place this Lenten season, I've been challenged to do some things differently.

Linda, my boss, plays a very prominent role in the church because Calvary has taken quite a drastic turn from it's previous life. The majority of members are elderly white couples who stuck around when everyone else left as the city fell apart. The other members are the children that HIS Heart ministers to from the inner city, the ones I'm working with by putting feet to the Gospel. Linda serves on staff as the missions minister, but she's been a member her for over 40 years and has a deep connection to the church as well as the surrounding area.

I've been able to discuss Lent with her a few times, and it's been such a challenging few weeks. She views this time of Lent as "spring training", preparation to observe and rejoice over Easter--how the Lord sacrificed His life for us and rose again. Those days during Lent can be a time to really reflect on His gift, without legalistic incentive, but as a time of sacrifice and the chance to really focus on what Easter really means.

So I've made a few changes in my life for this period, and I've been able to really grow and benefit from the dependency it's pushed me to toward Christ. But I will admit the challenges are ever present as I try to lean not on my own understanding, it's easy to sacrifice the little things in our daily routine that seem insignificant at the time but actually add up to have a large effect on our habits and lifestyle. I am learning that firsthand. This isn't about rules or guidelines to follow, but about the heart. Where our heart rests our lives follow. And the more time I spend during these 40 days with Christ the more I recognize how powerful our heart can be in determining our actions, for good or for bad.

So Lent is a learning process. And work is challenging. But all for good, something I'm excited about more and more each day. It's going by so quickly, and our wedding is getting closer and closer! I can't help but be eager for all that's in store.