Things I am thankful for:
God's provision and timing. Being home and resting has been the best medicine for the last crazy two weeks. God knew exactly what a refreshing time this would be.
My new sister-to-be, Tori. Paul proposed today! We were so excited to watch as he told Tori how thankful he was to have her in his life, then sweetly asked her to spend her life with him. Let's not forget the beautiful ring ;) I am so excited to finally have a sister to call my own.
My precious family and my new understanding of why we function the ways that we do. Vessels and flowers, thank you.
Ethan. He's coming home tonight and I am beyond blessed to have had someone patient and gentle enough to bear with me through this crazy season in life. I am so thankful for the clear representation of grace I see in his life toward me in my weaknesses.
My friends. Despite those who will be leaving, I will forever be grateful for the fun, encouragement, the challenges and the good things the Lord has shown me through their willingness and faithfulness to invest in my life. I am blessed more than I can ever explain.
Carrot cake. Mom's dressing. Mammaw's rolls. Milo's. Yummm.
Thursday, November 25
Monday, November 22
surrender.
How many times must I be reminded to let go?
That letting go is not giving up... not quitting... not losing hope.
Letting go is about relinquishing control over something you really can't take care of on your own.
Surrender.
Giving up your ideas for the better one He has.
Well what a lesson of trust and surrender the Lord has been leading me through lately. God has literally allowed me to be completely broken to pieces, completely forced to relinquish every bit of control I have left in me. And it kinda sucks. But its so good for me I recognize. Recently there has been surprise after surprise, little changes that make a big difference all at once.
With friends, God has literally stripped me of the few people I've let in my life at school. My roommate and best friend will be spending the semester in Botswana, Africa next semester. My big is getting married in December and moving to Waco, Texas. My newest friend that the Lord has placed in my life told me this week that she'll be transferring to Louisiana College in the spring. My other close friend will be student teaching and virtually unable to be the friend next door who can go and do freely. God has begun to close doors in these relationships which is so hard since I am slow to let my walls down to the core of me. And these four women are the ones who have been able to get into my squishy as Mattie calls it.. my inside vulnerabilities, fears and weaknesses. Now that I've let them in, they are all leaving. And although I fully support each one and trust that God is leading them where they must go, it's the realization that my support, my comfort in friendships is going to be practically absent next semester.
I recognize in these situations as well as others that God has been pointing out holes in, that He is teaching me to surrender. To let go of the control that I crave. To relinquish my hold on having everything my own way. And to trust that He truly has my best interest at heart. But my heart and my head aren't on the same page yet. And I cannot pretend that the hurt my heart is feeling isn't outweighing the logical knowledge that God is just refining me in this time. My big Olivia explained that sometimes God wants us to deeply feel the sorrow of brokenness so that we can fully appreciate his restoration and joy.
This is a time of growth that is necessary and good, but the process is always the hardest. Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same, its been such an evident truth in my life lately and I know God's grace will give me the strength to get to the joyful side of things, but the journey is about to be long. I'm learning to surrender each day, trusting God in the process, and hoping for the best in the end.
Wednesday, November 17
hit me in the face
You know how God has a way of letting someone or something say the truth your heart needs to hear on that day you seem to be struggling with it most? Like when you go to church on Wednesday night and the sermon is so accurate to your life that you are convinced your pastor is a peeping Tom. Or when you have a happenstance conversation with a friend in passing who shares her burdens that oh, how ironic, I'm struggling with today too.
I hate those convictions, but crave that truth God so willingly shares with me. Lately He's been doing that a lot.
My pastor, a few Sundays ago, explained that this happens in our life when truth is preached or spoken. Naturally those things convict our heart because God's truth is consistent, applicable and just speaks to our hearts in almost any situation since the truth is relative to each of us in a specific way. Lately I am having a hard time seeing those closest to me through the lens the Lord sees them, and me. I am quick to carry judgments and standards in my heart in order to protect myself and those around me. This is particularly a struggle when the judgments I carry are poor of my closest friends. And I can be totally aware of it, but not know how to handle it. Well God knew today I needed a slap in the face with the truth Romans 2 provides. Thanks for this:
1 You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. 2 Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. 3 So when you, a mere human being, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment? 4 Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?
Romans 2:1-4
Tonight I had coffee with my friend and her dad who came to visit for a few days from out of town. In the conversations I've had with her dad, I've always appreciated his insight and wisdom that he offers, as well as the ability he carries to see through the real issue to the heart of my problems. Tonight he shared the devotion he read this morning which he himself had been struggling with. It used this passage and reminded me,ever so gently like a ton of bricks the wrongfulness of my sin. Peeping Tom at his finest... God always uses these instances to humble and bring me to the throne only to be shown that the grace I am withholding, He is lavishly pouring out on me even in my ignorance and sin. Our God, truly, is an awesome God.
I hate those convictions, but crave that truth God so willingly shares with me. Lately He's been doing that a lot.
My pastor, a few Sundays ago, explained that this happens in our life when truth is preached or spoken. Naturally those things convict our heart because God's truth is consistent, applicable and just speaks to our hearts in almost any situation since the truth is relative to each of us in a specific way. Lately I am having a hard time seeing those closest to me through the lens the Lord sees them, and me. I am quick to carry judgments and standards in my heart in order to protect myself and those around me. This is particularly a struggle when the judgments I carry are poor of my closest friends. And I can be totally aware of it, but not know how to handle it. Well God knew today I needed a slap in the face with the truth Romans 2 provides. Thanks for this:
1 You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. 2 Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. 3 So when you, a mere human being, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment? 4 Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?
Romans 2:1-4
Tonight I had coffee with my friend and her dad who came to visit for a few days from out of town. In the conversations I've had with her dad, I've always appreciated his insight and wisdom that he offers, as well as the ability he carries to see through the real issue to the heart of my problems. Tonight he shared the devotion he read this morning which he himself had been struggling with. It used this passage and reminded me,
Wednesday, November 10
GET HER TO BOTSWANA!!
My best friend and roommate Lauren Reeves is going to Botswana, Africa next semester from mid-January to mid-May. She has been before and is so excited to be returning to work with Hands On through the IMB. This is Lauren's heart, she is so mission minded and eager to spread the Gospel. She feels called to vocational missions and can barely wait to get out of America and over to another country! I am so proud of her and the way she is seeking the Lord through her preparation for this trip. I've helped her start up a blog that she will be using to update before and during her trip. She also has set up a PayPal account to help raise funds for the semester. We've also got a tshirt designed if you would be interested in supporting her trip this way. Please visit her blog and help anyway you feel led, especially through prayer as we go to the Lord on her behalf. She's such a warrior for the Gospel and I am blessed to call her my best friend.
If you don't know Lauren but would like to support, feel free to contact me about a tshirt or any other questions you may have! My email is Rachael894@gmail.com
Thanks friends :)
this is the tshirt design we have for her trip!
Her blog address is: http://laureninbotswana.blogspot.comIf you don't know Lauren but would like to support, feel free to contact me about a tshirt or any other questions you may have! My email is Rachael894@gmail.com
Thanks friends :)
Tuesday, November 9
God teaches
I've recently been introduced to a book that I cannot get enough of. It's called Vessels & Flowers by Sally Pickard and Brenda Dulmage and it's completely transformed my way of thinking about and interacting with others.
The book is a look at why women of God function and behave the way they do. They explain how we are born with a set number of receptors which allow our brain to take in information in different ways, making us an introvert or an extrovert accordingly. This determines our temperament. The temperament demonstrates itself in one of 5 vessels: The Vase, the Basket, the Golden Pouch, the Pitcher and the Velvet Box (in order from most extroverted to most introverted). I am a pitcher.
The way we display our temperament is described through our flowers: the Tulip (leader), Iris (teacher), Rose (perceiver), Orchid (economist), Dogwood (facilitator), Daisy (encourager), and Pansy (comforter). I am a dogwood.
I live with a Pouch/pansy, a Pitcher/tulip, and a Basket/daisy. It has explained SO MUCH! Seriously. It explains why we handle situations differently, how we think about certain problems, how we get our feelings hurt, how we show love, how we feel loved, what we need to feel comfortable and confident.. And on and on. The women explain how vessels of honor are reflective of their creator and are not limited to one vessel or one flower since God can bless you with multiple functions, but it does explain so much about the different qualities you find in the primary vessels and flowers.
If you want to know more, and you should, you can buy the book here: http://www.vesselsandflowers.com/
I've also been encouraged to love others differently once I am able to recognize their needs more readily. By seeing how people interact and respond to situations, we've adopted our own vessels and flowers lingo... its so interesting!
But the most important thing I've learned in this process is that the Lord can consistently teach you through others. The Lord uses people in my life to teach such hard lessons: lessons about letting go, trust, being vulnerable, needing others, and pursuing healthy, God honoring friendships. I feel as if lately God has placed me on the outside of so many situations only to say sit back and watch me move. Watch how I am going to grow these friends of yours up in their faith, and you can't do anything for them but encourage and pray for them in the process as they learn. It's a hard place to be. Part of being a Pitcher is wanting to always control the situation and find the most practical answer. Well, there also lies the most challenging aspect of being a Pitcher: giving God control. And He has faithfully taught me the pros and cons of this over the last few months. I am thankful for the friendships God has placed in my life and grateful to be growing, but its been challenging in so many ways. God is capable of handling not only my problems but everyone else's as well!
The book is a look at why women of God function and behave the way they do. They explain how we are born with a set number of receptors which allow our brain to take in information in different ways, making us an introvert or an extrovert accordingly. This determines our temperament. The temperament demonstrates itself in one of 5 vessels: The Vase, the Basket, the Golden Pouch, the Pitcher and the Velvet Box (in order from most extroverted to most introverted). I am a pitcher.
The way we display our temperament is described through our flowers: the Tulip (leader), Iris (teacher), Rose (perceiver), Orchid (economist), Dogwood (facilitator), Daisy (encourager), and Pansy (comforter). I am a dogwood.
I live with a Pouch/pansy, a Pitcher/tulip, and a Basket/daisy. It has explained SO MUCH! Seriously. It explains why we handle situations differently, how we think about certain problems, how we get our feelings hurt, how we show love, how we feel loved, what we need to feel comfortable and confident.. And on and on. The women explain how vessels of honor are reflective of their creator and are not limited to one vessel or one flower since God can bless you with multiple functions, but it does explain so much about the different qualities you find in the primary vessels and flowers.
If you want to know more, and you should, you can buy the book here: http://www.vesselsandflowers.com/
I've also been encouraged to love others differently once I am able to recognize their needs more readily. By seeing how people interact and respond to situations, we've adopted our own vessels and flowers lingo... its so interesting!
But the most important thing I've learned in this process is that the Lord can consistently teach you through others. The Lord uses people in my life to teach such hard lessons: lessons about letting go, trust, being vulnerable, needing others, and pursuing healthy, God honoring friendships. I feel as if lately God has placed me on the outside of so many situations only to say sit back and watch me move. Watch how I am going to grow these friends of yours up in their faith, and you can't do anything for them but encourage and pray for them in the process as they learn. It's a hard place to be. Part of being a Pitcher is wanting to always control the situation and find the most practical answer. Well, there also lies the most challenging aspect of being a Pitcher: giving God control. And He has faithfully taught me the pros and cons of this over the last few months. I am thankful for the friendships God has placed in my life and grateful to be growing, but its been challenging in so many ways. God is capable of handling not only my problems but everyone else's as well!
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