The Bethlehem Candle

Tonight we are celebrating Advent in Worship and Study. As we started talking about what Advent means, and what each candle represents, I realized how little I actually know about the Advent season. I've been preparing to share about the Bethlehem candle, and it's gotten me thinking about the birth of Christ in a very different light.

Luke 2:1-6
In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. This was the first registration when Quirinius was governor of Syria. And all went to be registered, each to his own town. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be registered with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. And while they were there, the time came for her to give birth.

Last week I spent Thanksgiving with my family, which included my older brother, his wife, and my little baby niece Sydney. While we all gathered around the table to eat, I realized that we were never all together because someone was always in the other room taking care of Sydney. She's too little to walk, talk, or even crawl at 6 months. She's essentially helpless, dependent on someone else for everything. One of my favorite parts of the day came while I rocked Sydney to sleep in my arms, so small and precious, totally unaware of the rest of the world.

This image of a baby isn't foreign to us -- we have all been around babies, we can conjure up the image of their tiny toes and fingers. But I can bet that when you think of Jesus Christ, this probably isn't the image that comes to mind. That's why I love this Bethlehem story! I love that the Scriptures give us this glimpse into the beginning of Jesus' life. After traveling up a mountain toward Bethlehem, pregnant, Mary and Joseph found themselves in an actual stable, delivering a baby boy that would change the course of history. But in those precious first moments of Jesus' life, while he laid in a manger, he became relatable to each and every one of us. The God who knitted you together in your mother's womb took on that very same form to become the small, helpless babe in swaddling clothes that we read about today.

I love the way Christ chose to relate to us. Scripture gives us details that confirm that this is more than just “The Christmas Story”, but it’s an actual event that we can trace historically! We see these people – Caesar Augustus and Quirinius, and know that they were real men with authority in those days. Bethlehem is a town you could visit today! The stable where Christ was born was later turned into a shrine, then a church. These are physical places, a real baby was born there. This place in Scripture brings to life a story we know and love, but confirms that it’s so incredibly real, more than a folk-tale or tradition.

Jesus was a real baby, a real man who endured growing up, being human, feeling emotions like you feel today--he understands. I love the kindness of a Savior who took on flesh in order to save us, to love us, to teach us. We celebrate tonight not just the birth of a baby boy--but the birth of a king. This is the true meaning of Christmas, that Christ came to earth in the form of a child in order to sacrifice his life and allow us to become children of God.

a season for everything

The last six months have ushered in more change than any other season of my life I can remember. In May, I moved home to Birmingham, graduated college and said goodbye to many sweet friends, then began working at Shades doing college ministry. Within one week I'd gone from student, to graduate, to working fiancé attempting to plan a wedding and navigate ministry.

In June all the pieces of the wedding puzzle slowly came together with showers, decorations, food, and all the millions of details Pinterest could never have prepared me for.

July brought a wedding day that was absolutely flawless thanks to the help of my parents, friends, and many loved ones. The Lord was very gracious to give me a sweet, almost pain-free day after coming down with shingles the day before the wedding. Many, many prayers allowed for a perfect day of marrying my best friend. After the wedding and honeymoon, Ethan and I went instantly to camp with Shades, then came home to jump into married life, work, and a LOT of website design (www.shades.org - a la Ethan Milner!)

August was presented to me from my boss as college ministry's version of "tax season for accountants"… And I can't say he really exaggerated. August brought so many new faces and friends to meet and learn - I contemplated making flashcards of all the new students I was supposed to know. But the Lord began to bless the ministry that I am blessed to be a part of, and the last few months have been a precious time of growing and learning in the Lord.

September and October finally brought a little bit of structure and calm, mixed with the opportunity to invest and disciple girls I love getting to know. The gift of college ministry has been something unexpected. The transparency and willingness of each girl I talk to has not ceased to surprise me. In one conversation I can find out exactly where a student is walking with the Lord, what she is learning or struggling with, and then have the opportunity to share hope in the Gospel --  something not easily done with normal conversations had with strangers. It's a blessing, and the Lord has given much freedom in ministry as I tentatively learn my way.

Throughout the last six months my life has taken on an incredibly different look, almost unrecognizable from where I stood in May, but I love it. The theme of open hands has been woven throughout, and the Lord continues to remind me of his willingness to give. Elisabeth Elliot talks about how it is in God's nature to give… he can no more help giving than he can help loving. This has rung true in my life over and over the last six months as all this change has been trying and hard at times. The Lord has remained so faithful in my life that I can't help but be taken aback by His goodness.

There are so many promises throughout Scripture that paint a beautiful picture of our hands:
Psalm 145:16 "You open your hand; you satisfy the desire of every living thing."

John 10:27-30 "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand. I and the Father are one."

Isaiah 42:6 "I am the Lord; I have called you in righteousness; I will take you by the hand and keep you."
64:8 "But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand."

It's easy for me to imagine hands out, fists clinched, and the representation when we won't let go... We close our fists when we like what we have because it seems to be our way of holding tightly to the things we love or like or idolize. But the more I see the Lord's movement in Scripture, the more I've been reminded that the only way we can receive what the Lord has for us is through open hands. He opens his hands and provides protection, provision… He offers grace and goodness, but when our hands are shut tightly we are unable to receive. However, in opening our hands we release our control and express a desire to be filled! And holding the hand of the Lord is the best possible way to fill our tiny fingers… with the eternal glory and security of the only one who will not pass.

This theme has been a hard one to truly understand and live by, but the Lord remains consistent in opening His hands and stretching out His blessing in my life. I thought by letting go of old friends, I would remain empty-handed. However, the Lord has filled my hands with His and reminded me of the people surrounding me who love and care about me. His faithfulness prevails. In letting go of routine and schedule I'd been accustomed to for some time, I thought I would struggle to fill my hands with a new life - in marriage, work, moving… But the Lord keeps saying, look at my plans! Look at how I wish to further the kingdom -- open your hands and be filled!

The beauty of the Lord is his faithfulness and provision in just being Himself. He satisfies any need, demands glory in His righteousness, and calls us to live in abundance with Him when we let go of what we once held so dear. That's the Father I love.

dig

I've never read the Bible cover to cover. I've heard many of the stories, embraced the truth of the Word, but I've never fully dug into the truth of the Gospel from the beginning of time to the revelation of what is to come.

I felt called to ministry for the first time in 7th grade at Student Life Camp in Louisiana when I was 12 years old. At the time I very clearly felt the Lord speaking into my life by saying "Rachael, I am the vine and you are the branch, but you are not abiding in me." I felt the undeniable truth that my life was selfish, but that God had bigger plans for me. And if I were to follow them into a life of ministry, then my life had to change -- even then, beginning 8th grade.

Since that calling has resonated in my life I have pursued experience, service opportunities, leadership and guidance. I've tried to learn about ministry, I've even taught about ministry, but there's one piece to the puzzle I've been missing. People's advice is good, often well-intended and wise. But the greatest Words of all are those penned by the hands of men directly led by the Spirit of the Lord in the context of the Holy Bible. GOD'S Words, above all else, are a lamp to the feet, salt to the earth, light to the world, and yet.... I do not know many of them. Some I may have never even heard. Old Testament books... stories in the form of parables... I've heard them in Sunday school, or in sermons or through Bible studies, but what about directly from the mouth of the Lord? That's what I need to hear. That's real truth. Not tainted by one man's perception or spoken by a spin to create attraction, but real, honest truth.

The Word.

Tomorrow I am going to begin reading the Bible in 90 days. The challenge is large because the Word has so much to offer -- who can really embrace it all in 90 days? I could read for years and never fully understand or comprehend the size of my God. But I want to start first by simply hearing the Word so that the rest of my life and pursuit of ministry can be committed to the true Word, the one that matters most. So Meredith and I will be reading together through the Scriptures and digging into the truths of the Bible. I am beyond excited.

The discipline of reading Scripture is one I have often failed in over the years. I can read bits and pieces, or reference the Word when I have a problem, but the Bible has so much more to gain from. So my prayer is that through this season I become a vehicle for truth to be expressed and gained. My prayer is that God is foremost glorified, that in my weakness I point only to Christ and not to myself as if to say, "look at me, how good I am..." No my prayer is that in taking the Word of life in each day I cannot help but pour it back out, through my words, my actions, my attitudes. I pray His Word becomes so alive and active in my heart it cannot be contained inside my soul! I pray I pour it out! And I pray, most of all, that my heart is humbled through the rebuke and correction His truth offers.. and that the darkest parts of my self are exposed to the light.

Let's dig.

saving grace

This is Donkey. And I won't lie... he's my favorite.

This is Jessie. And today we helped him obtain his very first ID.

This is TeShayla, Donkey, Rob and Zee. Wednesday night is the highlight of my week as all the little ones come and eat pizza, sing songs, and generally make my heart melt.

Today was such a breath of fresh air after the last few days of constant going and going... and going. The man who I helped apply for disability has 9 children. Today I spent the morning with his youngest son Jessie tracking down all sorts of paperwork and forms for him to be able to apply to a job corp in MS. Jessie has no ID, no SS card, and only obtained his birth certificate last week after we helped him fill out the forms and mail them to Wisconsin where he was born. I have never been so grateful for my mom and dad having kept all our essentials in a safe place. 

These basic necessities that we use so frequently are often lost, never kept, or misplaced in the homes of the children we work with. Things change frequently -- like address, phone number, location... and life seems to be a constant toss up. So today was somewhat of a rat race tracking down his information from the social security office, then the high school he dropped out of, then the dmv, and so on and so forth. But his precious smile made it all worthwhile as he was practically giddy about his new, and only, ID.

I keep smiling at the precious children the Lord is allowing me to minister to because they make everything seem worthwhile. What is not to love about those little faces and bright smiles with gold-capped teeth? I can't think of a thing.

Social Work Day

Although this internship is not always "social work" focused, yesterday was like a lesson in all the things I've learned the last four years. It was overwhelming to be honest.

There's a gentlemen who has grown up at Calvary and lived in the inner city of Jackson his whole life. He is 56 years old and has had quite a life. He has 9 children, his wife left their family years ago for crack and prostitution, and he stuck around. His family life is crazy- children in prison, others on the street, some who stick around for money or help. He cannot read or write, he was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer in 2010, and his life has been falling apart for years. But in the midst of this, he is absolutely precious and has a heart of gold. He smiles and laughs, loves to come sit and share stories, and just listening to him can brighten my day.

However, because of his cancer, he can't do much work. I had the privilege of working with him to set up an appointment at the social security office and help him apply for disability. But yesterday I was saddened at the weight of his struggle and his look of defeat. As we sat down with the SS Employee, I could instantly tell this would be a struggle. She was hardened, had the attitude like she had seen plenty of folks cheat the system, and how would she know that this man was any different? As politely, yet determinedly as possible, we began to explain his situation and advocate his need for disability.

She listened, but barely. She spoke harsh words and asked questions loaded with doubt. I watched this sweet man start to feel defeat, with tears in his eyes, his spirit sunk. I started praying eagerly for the Lord to first strengthen him, but to soften her. I asked for God's blessing on the situation, to give us the words to say and give this employee the desire to listen. Afterall, she would set the pace for the process and advocate for his application once we left.

Eventually, she came around, thanks to the Lord. I watched her start to actually listen, to soften, to speak more kindly to him. He began to share truthfully his feelings and his situation, and I think she began to see the pressing need on his life -- the pain he experiences daily was clearly conveyed. At the end of our time, we were not denied, but the process was sent on through the forms stage which could lead to a potential hearing, and with the right advocates and many many prayers, he could receive disability in the next 60-90 days.

What hit me so hard in the middle of this was just how broken our system is and how hard it makes advocating for those who deserve and need help. The ones who take advantage create walls for the ones in pain to climb, even though they've been climbing through hoops already. It's devastating to see the humanity of the system and know there is not much to do for change other than persist prayerfully that some light would be shed on how to offer hope and help efficiently and effectively.

My little social work world was blown yesterday. But I couldn't help but thinking the Lord had put me in that situation for a reason. I went with this man and was able to see the world through his eyes for just a minute, and it broke my heart. But that's the exact place the Lord can begin to move and change us if we let him!

wisdom

Been pondering these words from my mentor and friend Melanie Dill. She's living in Cape Town, South Africa working with Living Hope and learning firsthand the trials and hardships of ministering to the poor. This statement was a great way of explaining what a life sold out to the Gospel sounds like:

When you have no way to help yourself, all the glory goes to God in even the smallest triumphs. It's a beautiful problem to have.

Mel's blog

his heart

I've never given up anything for Lent. The 40 days leading up to Easter have never been stressed growing up so I never gave it much thought. But since I'm at Calvary and in a different place this Lenten season, I've been challenged to do some things differently.

Linda, my boss, plays a very prominent role in the church because Calvary has taken quite a drastic turn from it's previous life. The majority of members are elderly white couples who stuck around when everyone else left as the city fell apart. The other members are the children that HIS Heart ministers to from the inner city, the ones I'm working with by putting feet to the Gospel. Linda serves on staff as the missions minister, but she's been a member her for over 40 years and has a deep connection to the church as well as the surrounding area.

I've been able to discuss Lent with her a few times, and it's been such a challenging few weeks. She views this time of Lent as "spring training", preparation to observe and rejoice over Easter--how the Lord sacrificed His life for us and rose again. Those days during Lent can be a time to really reflect on His gift, without legalistic incentive, but as a time of sacrifice and the chance to really focus on what Easter really means.

So I've made a few changes in my life for this period, and I've been able to really grow and benefit from the dependency it's pushed me to toward Christ. But I will admit the challenges are ever present as I try to lean not on my own understanding, it's easy to sacrifice the little things in our daily routine that seem insignificant at the time but actually add up to have a large effect on our habits and lifestyle. I am learning that firsthand. This isn't about rules or guidelines to follow, but about the heart. Where our heart rests our lives follow. And the more time I spend during these 40 days with Christ the more I recognize how powerful our heart can be in determining our actions, for good or for bad.

So Lent is a learning process. And work is challenging. But all for good, something I'm excited about more and more each day. It's going by so quickly, and our wedding is getting closer and closer! I can't help but be eager for all that's in store.

wedding progress

This weekend while millions of people were laughing at commercials about dogs and watching some giants, we were making wedding progress. Partially because the cable was out, and partially because it was just going well and we were having fun!

My favorite part of all the planning so far has been getting to design the paper things--the save the dates and invitations. I've always had this love of all things pretty paper, I love the "package" of invitations and how the theme goes from one aspect to the next. And now, it's our very own wedding and those words on the paper represent a marriage. It's so much more fun!

Ethan gives me a hard time for using Pinterest to find things I like because he says everyone will see that, and we have to be unique! One of the blessings of marrying an artist.... a constant desire for originality and ingenuity. I'll take it!

But nevertheless my addiction to Pinterest has given me a lot of inspiration, and Ethan has been the perfect compliment to make those ideas reality, but even better because they are our own. And what I love about the planning is how well we work together, bounce ideas off one another, and get excited about our ideas. The finished product is just the icing on the cake--the planning is the best part for me!

Save the dates should be done this week, and we have something fun up our sleeves!

all the small things

This is Tamaya. As I rode the church bus around downtown Jackson to the different communities before Wednesday church, this little sweetheart hopped on at one of the apartment complexes. She kind of stole my heart as soon as she sat next to me. Throughout the night little moments like this made me smile over and over, and I was encouraged that I get to love on her all semester.

The first thing I've noticed in working with HIS Heart, an urban ministry in the heart of downtown Jackson, is the closeness of the poverty to where I am located. In actuality, it takes 16 minutes to get to Calvary Baptist from the home I'm staying in. But the irony is, Calvary is on the same street I am living in currently. If I turn right out of my driveway and go straight for ten miles, Calvary is there, in the midst of all this poverty, on the left side of the road.

It struck me the first day I planned the route how direct the path from my little safety net to the poorest of inner city living was, and how I can't really pretend like it doesn't exist. Straight shot into downtown, and everywhere you look is broken. My heart naturally longs to offer hope and light from the Lord when I see this type of need, and honestly as we made visits and met people this week, it was the closest thing I've seen to true need and poverty since Cape Town. I'm not naive enough to think that it only exists outside of our country, but I guess I'm selfish enough to live like that's the truth. And the Lord boldly reminded me this week why it is not right to go on living as if our neighbors aren't in just as much need and pain as those precious children I met in South Africa.

I've always said "I don't want to be a 'social worker', I just want to work in the church." But I think the Lord has already begun to show me that the work of the church is to love those in need--those who the social workers are often helping.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

I pray that the Lord uses this semester to soften my heart and blur the lines of that calling in a way--I've always separated what a social worker does from what my call to ministry looks like. But sometimes my hard lines have prevented me from seeing the extreme need right before me, and often those needs--physical, emotional, mental, etc...--must be addressed before spiritual counsel is heard. I have always recognized the need for Christ in any sort of help and healing, apart from Him we can do nothing. But as Christ almost always met physical needs, I know those are realistically a part of ministry that cannot be overlooked.

"If one of you says to them, 'Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,' but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?" James 2:16

This truth hit me hard this week, and it's only the beginning!

back in the groove

Life has brought much change and joy lately. I finished out my last semester at Union which seemed to go by faster than usual. On December 1st, 2011 my best friend proposed to me and I said YES!

I moved out of Union and back home for my last college Jan. term. I've been working with the student ministry this month and eagerly planning our July 7th wedding. On January 31st I will move to Clinton, Mississippi to spend the semester doing my social work practicum with an organization called His Heart that serves the inner city of Jackson, MS through the Gospel. I will be able to spend the semester where Ethan is (for the first time in our entire dating history of three and half years) and plan the rest of our summer wedding. There has been more change than I could have ever expected, but along with that the Lord has brought immeasurable blessing and so much joy.

I've gone Pinterest crazy with ideas and plans for the wedding. It's been so fun to make all kinds of decisions with an actual groom in mind, and not some fairytale wedding I've dreamed about. I've actually surprised myself with how different my decisions have been from what I thought I always wanted.

And in the midst of it all I've been able to appreciate Ethan in a new way. He has been consistent to remind me that this is about our marriage, before the Lord, and that everything else is just fluff. What truly matters is that the two of us are preparing our hearts to come to the Lord and commit our lives to him and to one another. What a sacred and special time!

I also started playing around with a monogram for our wedding to use throughout on invitations, programs, decorations, etc. I don't know what we will end up using, it may be something totally different and streamlined, but I am having fun learning and being able to use my "doodles" for something new and creative. I would love to pursue this much more and even begin doing them for others. It's a fun way to get lost in my thoughts and end up with something cool and unique.

There is so much brewing lately that I am eager to see how God can use in our lives, and I know this year is going to be one of the most exciting and crazy years of my life. 2012, let's do this.