all the small things

This is Tamaya. As I rode the church bus around downtown Jackson to the different communities before Wednesday church, this little sweetheart hopped on at one of the apartment complexes. She kind of stole my heart as soon as she sat next to me. Throughout the night little moments like this made me smile over and over, and I was encouraged that I get to love on her all semester.

The first thing I've noticed in working with HIS Heart, an urban ministry in the heart of downtown Jackson, is the closeness of the poverty to where I am located. In actuality, it takes 16 minutes to get to Calvary Baptist from the home I'm staying in. But the irony is, Calvary is on the same street I am living in currently. If I turn right out of my driveway and go straight for ten miles, Calvary is there, in the midst of all this poverty, on the left side of the road.

It struck me the first day I planned the route how direct the path from my little safety net to the poorest of inner city living was, and how I can't really pretend like it doesn't exist. Straight shot into downtown, and everywhere you look is broken. My heart naturally longs to offer hope and light from the Lord when I see this type of need, and honestly as we made visits and met people this week, it was the closest thing I've seen to true need and poverty since Cape Town. I'm not naive enough to think that it only exists outside of our country, but I guess I'm selfish enough to live like that's the truth. And the Lord boldly reminded me this week why it is not right to go on living as if our neighbors aren't in just as much need and pain as those precious children I met in South Africa.

I've always said "I don't want to be a 'social worker', I just want to work in the church." But I think the Lord has already begun to show me that the work of the church is to love those in need--those who the social workers are often helping.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

I pray that the Lord uses this semester to soften my heart and blur the lines of that calling in a way--I've always separated what a social worker does from what my call to ministry looks like. But sometimes my hard lines have prevented me from seeing the extreme need right before me, and often those needs--physical, emotional, mental, etc...--must be addressed before spiritual counsel is heard. I have always recognized the need for Christ in any sort of help and healing, apart from Him we can do nothing. But as Christ almost always met physical needs, I know those are realistically a part of ministry that cannot be overlooked.

"If one of you says to them, 'Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,' but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?" James 2:16

This truth hit me hard this week, and it's only the beginning!

back in the groove

Life has brought much change and joy lately. I finished out my last semester at Union which seemed to go by faster than usual. On December 1st, 2011 my best friend proposed to me and I said YES!

I moved out of Union and back home for my last college Jan. term. I've been working with the student ministry this month and eagerly planning our July 7th wedding. On January 31st I will move to Clinton, Mississippi to spend the semester doing my social work practicum with an organization called His Heart that serves the inner city of Jackson, MS through the Gospel. I will be able to spend the semester where Ethan is (for the first time in our entire dating history of three and half years) and plan the rest of our summer wedding. There has been more change than I could have ever expected, but along with that the Lord has brought immeasurable blessing and so much joy.

I've gone Pinterest crazy with ideas and plans for the wedding. It's been so fun to make all kinds of decisions with an actual groom in mind, and not some fairytale wedding I've dreamed about. I've actually surprised myself with how different my decisions have been from what I thought I always wanted.

And in the midst of it all I've been able to appreciate Ethan in a new way. He has been consistent to remind me that this is about our marriage, before the Lord, and that everything else is just fluff. What truly matters is that the two of us are preparing our hearts to come to the Lord and commit our lives to him and to one another. What a sacred and special time!

I also started playing around with a monogram for our wedding to use throughout on invitations, programs, decorations, etc. I don't know what we will end up using, it may be something totally different and streamlined, but I am having fun learning and being able to use my "doodles" for something new and creative. I would love to pursue this much more and even begin doing them for others. It's a fun way to get lost in my thoughts and end up with something cool and unique.

There is so much brewing lately that I am eager to see how God can use in our lives, and I know this year is going to be one of the most exciting and crazy years of my life. 2012, let's do this.

deserving

Kevin's office needed to be seen. However, took all the pictures on my phone so sorry they look grainy and dark/blinding by the light tree. The awesome shows through still.

 This is Kevin's "Oh no no no! It's not ready yet!"

 Game face.

 Shelves. Built by Kevin and Ethan, so HGTV-esque.

 Buzz. He is everywhere.

 Pop of green for pictures and artifacts to call home.

 Desk, former pantry door now painted original, once again by Ethan and Kevin.

Speakers spray painted yellow, and filing cabinets spray painted black. Talk about cool, yea?

love laugh and PAINT.

It seems lately I have slacked off on my blogging, but even in the last trail of blog posts I have failed to include the "Paint" aspect as the title suggests: Love Laugh and Paint. Lots of love and laughing have been happening, but little painting has happened. I was not okay with that fact when I sat down to realize how much I missed the crafty side of my heart. So I went on painting and crafting overload this week to compensate!

First, I am interning at Shades for the entire summer, working with high school girls and investing in those who feel called to ministry. I'm loving the relational time I get to have with the girls, as well as the fun I have being around the office and the people I look up to so much. Last week Kevin Johnson came on staff as the high school boys ministry associate. It's been a party from the second he got here! And first on his to-do list was to decorate his office. Well it was more than decorating really, it was a fullout HGTV-style makeover complete with paint, built-in shelves, a table desk, and a Buzz Lightyear figurine. Oh and also a tree lamp, au natural.

So the HGTV lover in me was eager to contribute and suggest, just like I learned from years of faithfully watching Trading Spaces, Color Splash, Designed to Sell, Dear Genevieve, and the list goes on and on. We painted three walls a charcoal grey, with one red accent wall that matches the other paint in the building. The desk and shelves are a lighter grey, and the accents are bright green and yellow. Very modern, very awesome, and incredibly typical of such a creative guy like Kevy.

This makeover combined with my new interest in a blog called YoungHouseLove inspired me to update my own room at home. After rearranging and cleaning out, I had a lot of pictures and art and little pieces of life that I wanted to display. But I wanted something exciting to match the awesome spree of creativity I found myself in the last week. This particular post from YoungHouseLove about a wall of frames was my inspiration for the arrangement and layout.

First step: paint everything in sight white. Leave nothing behind.

Second step: find things to fill in the frames. I had some pictures that I have just stuck in random places around my room the last year or so, so they were my first choice for filling out the frames. I also have a box of cheesy sentimental things that I sifted through for a few options.

Step three: Once I had everything filled and was feeling pretty content, I started to play around with the layout. I let a small framed picture of my mom and her massive awesome red glasses holding me as a baby be the centerpiece with a shadow box underneath. I just kind of worked my way out from there. I wanted there to be lines within the arrangement but liked the idea of an asymmetrical assortment for the rest of the objects.

Step four: I measured the height and width of the arrangement to figure out where the center should go on the wall above my desk table. From there I just put up the first frame and worked my way around in small portions.

Step five: lots of smiling and a happy heart. I was most pleased with this frame. Ethan and I went on a trip to Idaho with our high school church choir just a week or so after we started dating. As our first trip together, I really loved that memory. I found an atlas in our house and used the page of Idaho as the background for this frame. I put a picture inside from our trip, and just smiled at the memories of the beginning of our relationship (three years ago next week! woop!)

I also liked the idea from YoungHouseLove to interchange some of the pictures and objects in the frames. This way its a working, moveable piece of artwork that is special to me. I can add or take away, replace but keep the things I really love. I have a feeling the atlas/picture frame isn't going away ever! I also love the picture of me and Ethan at Homecoming my senior year before we were even dating. Who knew what potential would come from such good friends!

a light in my room.

14 You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.
15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand and it gives light for everyone in the house.
16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
Matthew 5:14-16

If ever I have known someone to embody the Gospel of Christ, to live the commands of the Word as if they were written on her heart each day, and to shine the light of Christ consistently, its my precious roommate Stacey. 

I saw Stacey for the first time my freshman year of college. She was visiting a camp friend at Union and she came with her to the Make-A-Wish 5K that Chi Omega put on each year. I saw her at a distance with one pants leg pushed up, crazy curls going everywhere, and a head band tied around her forehead. I thought she was a hippie, but she looked pretty exciting. 

I met Stacey for the first time my sophomore year of college. She transferred to Union from Appalachian State and I went with my roommate Lauren to her room on move in day. We were in search for Stacey's roommate Katie, but when she wasn't in the room Lauren and I talked with Stacey for almost 30 minutes. I had no idea the influence Stace would have on my life in the next two years.

Stacey rushed, pledge Chi O, but dropped after one semester. Second semester of my sophomore year she started spending a lot of time in my room as her and Lauren became close. At the end of the spring semester, Lauren asked if I would consider living with Stace in the fall. Let me just explain a little bit about Stacey: 

Get the picture? She's awesome. Crazy. Exciting. Wild. Fun. Hysterical. And more than I knew how to handle at the time. But we decided to live together in the fall of my junior year with Lauren and Kendra. Junior year started and I wasn't as close to Stace still. I was busy with GM stuff, and spent most of my time with the babies, or friends in 305, or asleep. I was missing out on the sweet roommates I had in my own room.

At the end of junior fall, I found out Mattie, Lauren and Olivia would all be gone in the spring semester. Stace instantly recognized my need for friendship and intentional relationships, something she is good at. Stace is a perceiver, she recognizes needs often before I know they exist. She is also intentional, and deliberate in her words of encouragement. This was something that God knew I would need this past semester.

As soon as we came back for this semester, God began using Stacey to rock my world and challenge my faith. Stacey is honestly one of the most devoted followers of Christ I have ever met. And I don't mean in the way where someone does a lot at church, but forgets about God in their everyday living. Stacey is legitimately on fire for God. She spends hours locked away in her room, crying, laughing, praying, worshipping and talking with God. She asks for guidance, she seeks wisdom, she lifts up those around her, she prays for the needs of her friends and enemies and strangers, she seeks the kingdom daily. She talks about God in her normal conversation, her lips are full of truth, and her conversation seasoned with salt and grace. She is joyful, hilarious, passionate, loving, patient, forgiving, honest, intentional, and kind-hearted. She uplifts, she is never selfish, she is always giving, always serving, always putting others first. In fact, she would hate that I have spent so much time bragging about her because she would rather me give the glory to God than talk about all the ways she is good.

But in all honestly, that is the only thing I can do to give justice to my Stacey. She is love, and God has used her radically to challenge me and hold me accountable and pour into my heart. God has given Stacey words of encouragement and wisdom that reflect a heart after Him. He has used her at my weakest moments to remind me of His faithfulness and goodness. When I am tired, she brings me Starbucks. When I am sad, she listens to me cry and gently prods me to share my life with her, despite my best attempts to convince her I have it under control. Stacey is truly a Godsend, the biggest blessing my life has ever known. I could never have imagined all the ways the Lord would challenge me through her. She embodies the Gospel definition of a servant, and for all the ways she has impacted the lives of those on this campus, we will never see until we worship in Heaven with the cluster of lives she has brought into the kingdom.

it's been a while..

This semester has been busy, busy, busy! Time has flown by, and now it's the last weekend of my junior year in college. Life changed a lot over the past few months, and I could not have imagined being where I am currently if you had asked around Christmas time.

January was exciting as I worked at Shades and got to experience the working side of ministry. I spent good time at home, and established a bit of a routine driving to Jackson for night class each Tuesday and working during the week. I think it helped prepare me for the semester, as well as get me into the basics of work at Shades for the summer.

February was exciting from the beginning. My living situation changed from last semester since Lauren went to Africa, and I had the opportunity to get much closer to Stacey and Kendra, my two roommates from last semester. Mattie moved back to Louisiana and Olivia got married and moved to Texas. I was nervous what the semester would look like, but I clung to Joshua 1:5 and constantly reminded myself that the Lord was with me through changes, through good and through bad. He faithfully placed friends in my life that had been there all along, but that I took for granted.

I began serving in a ministry called Fulfill at Englewood with the middle school ministry. I met a girl named Anna who has some sort of social disorder, I haven't quite figured out, but she completely captured my heart. She is often made fun of for being overweight for her age, and for being unable to interact with the other students easily. I noticed that even at church, she does not receive attention or love from many of her peers or even the adults. I think this is mainly because people don't really know what to do with her, she's hard to be around! But I consistently spent time with her, sitting with her at church each week and doing anything I could think of to get her to smile and share her life with me. It was a challenge the last few months but the Lord slowly softened her heart and helped her truly open up to me.

March got into the daily grind of my classes and Chi Omega, things were picking up. I was able to plan some fun events as Sisterhood chair in Chi O and was getting deeper in my relationships with new friends. The Lord was faithfully reminding me He is enough to sustain, and I began to focus more on my everyday life in terms of serving Christ. Fulfill was challenging and my relationship with Anna was getting deeper as she confided in me about how hard school is socially and how she often feels unloved.

I got to go home for spring break, then spent a few days in Clinton, then got to visit Mattie in Pineville, Louisiana. It was so much fun. I love getting to experience my friends from college in their natural home environment. I feel as if I learn so much from someone's family and home, but rarely get to see that in college. We went to the local coffee shops she spends most of her morning time in, we ate with her family, played games, I went to class with her and got to experience her school life. We drove around town and she even let me come to work and squeeze behind the tiny counter of the tiny flower/gift shop she works in at the hospital. I got to meet her friends and see where she goes when she just wants to get away. I got to go to Bible study at her house led by her parents, and I got to see the church her dad pastors. It was such an exciting week and allowed us to catch up and spend good quality time together. I would go back today if I could!

April showers hit hard. We had a lot of storms blow through and I spent a lot of time in my friend's tornado shelter bathroom. School was busy, and I was beginning to grow weary with the pace of life. After a rough weekend where God really shook my heart, I was learning a LOT about what it means to put my security and trust in the Lord. He reminded me gently, but constantly, that HE is the only one who can satisfy, the only one who gives me worth, the only one who makes me beautiful. If I am not pleasing him, how can I be content? Pleasing man is worthless and God must be the one I am fighting for. This month was rough, but consistently good as God revealed pieces of His character to me.

May has been busy and flying by. All of a sudden it's time to leave, my walls are bare, and I am getting ready for my internship at Shades this summer. I am excited for the responsibility of ministry, the opportunity to lead a Bible study lesson a few times, plan events, meet with girls, and have the accountability of intentional discipleship. I am eager to see what the Lord reveals and challenges me with this summer. I am excited for the chance to deepen and grow already existing relationships, as well as develop new friendships. I am also excited to prepare for next fall, my last normal semester before my practicum in social work. Time flies by, but I am constantly learning to seek God on a daily basis and surrender my desires and plans to Him. He is enough!!

A HOOT A DAY

Greatest discovery ever? THIS!

Kinda obsessed.
Just a little pick me up for my fellow owlovers.