a light in my room.

14 You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.
15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand and it gives light for everyone in the house.
16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
Matthew 5:14-16

If ever I have known someone to embody the Gospel of Christ, to live the commands of the Word as if they were written on her heart each day, and to shine the light of Christ consistently, its my precious roommate Stacey. 

I saw Stacey for the first time my freshman year of college. She was visiting a camp friend at Union and she came with her to the Make-A-Wish 5K that Chi Omega put on each year. I saw her at a distance with one pants leg pushed up, crazy curls going everywhere, and a head band tied around her forehead. I thought she was a hippie, but she looked pretty exciting. 

I met Stacey for the first time my sophomore year of college. She transferred to Union from Appalachian State and I went with my roommate Lauren to her room on move in day. We were in search for Stacey's roommate Katie, but when she wasn't in the room Lauren and I talked with Stacey for almost 30 minutes. I had no idea the influence Stace would have on my life in the next two years.

Stacey rushed, pledge Chi O, but dropped after one semester. Second semester of my sophomore year she started spending a lot of time in my room as her and Lauren became close. At the end of the spring semester, Lauren asked if I would consider living with Stace in the fall. Let me just explain a little bit about Stacey: 

Get the picture? She's awesome. Crazy. Exciting. Wild. Fun. Hysterical. And more than I knew how to handle at the time. But we decided to live together in the fall of my junior year with Lauren and Kendra. Junior year started and I wasn't as close to Stace still. I was busy with GM stuff, and spent most of my time with the babies, or friends in 305, or asleep. I was missing out on the sweet roommates I had in my own room.

At the end of junior fall, I found out Mattie, Lauren and Olivia would all be gone in the spring semester. Stace instantly recognized my need for friendship and intentional relationships, something she is good at. Stace is a perceiver, she recognizes needs often before I know they exist. She is also intentional, and deliberate in her words of encouragement. This was something that God knew I would need this past semester.

As soon as we came back for this semester, God began using Stacey to rock my world and challenge my faith. Stacey is honestly one of the most devoted followers of Christ I have ever met. And I don't mean in the way where someone does a lot at church, but forgets about God in their everyday living. Stacey is legitimately on fire for God. She spends hours locked away in her room, crying, laughing, praying, worshipping and talking with God. She asks for guidance, she seeks wisdom, she lifts up those around her, she prays for the needs of her friends and enemies and strangers, she seeks the kingdom daily. She talks about God in her normal conversation, her lips are full of truth, and her conversation seasoned with salt and grace. She is joyful, hilarious, passionate, loving, patient, forgiving, honest, intentional, and kind-hearted. She uplifts, she is never selfish, she is always giving, always serving, always putting others first. In fact, she would hate that I have spent so much time bragging about her because she would rather me give the glory to God than talk about all the ways she is good.

But in all honestly, that is the only thing I can do to give justice to my Stacey. She is love, and God has used her radically to challenge me and hold me accountable and pour into my heart. God has given Stacey words of encouragement and wisdom that reflect a heart after Him. He has used her at my weakest moments to remind me of His faithfulness and goodness. When I am tired, she brings me Starbucks. When I am sad, she listens to me cry and gently prods me to share my life with her, despite my best attempts to convince her I have it under control. Stacey is truly a Godsend, the biggest blessing my life has ever known. I could never have imagined all the ways the Lord would challenge me through her. She embodies the Gospel definition of a servant, and for all the ways she has impacted the lives of those on this campus, we will never see until we worship in Heaven with the cluster of lives she has brought into the kingdom.

reblog

My best friend Kendall never ceases to amaze me. And as she is going through an incredibly difficult time in this season of life, I am watching the Lord refine her daily and grow her into a God-fearing woman. This  is something she posted from someone else's blog, but I couldn't help but share....

"I wake up in my own tension daily. Slept through the time I had planned for You and I can hear the accusing one sitting on my shoulder, an inch from me, his voice is like acid, seething yet smooth. It masquerades as truth and yet,

I sit and wait for it. Distorted truth, so tailored, sewn to fit me snug like a straight jacket. Bound, I put my own arms in the sleeves.

'Look at your brokenness.
Look at it. Look at your pieces.
Unlovable.

Look at your situation.
Too many unknowns and fears to move.
You're paralyzed, hopeless.

Look at your emotions.
Too many of them too spread out, most of them wrong.
Some barely exist.

He said you were made for love, did He mean it? He said you were made for Him, did it mean it? Is He really happy with you? How could He be? You've seen yourself.'

And when I am looking at Him, the accuser throws more distractions my way. A blatant attempt to keep me from Him. To keep me closed off and alone.

But my Beloved,
He is King.
And my Beloved, 
His eyes are flames of fire, and if you saw how jealous they are for me,
you could not stand in His presence.
I know His eyes are mine and His heart is for me.
And He took my sin
He took it, along with your twisted words and lies void of hope that you've been screaming at me for twenty something years.
Nothing can keep me from Him,
Not my pain, not your lies, not sickness, nor death, not shame, not my sin, not even my own complacency.
Nothing can keep me from the love of my Father.

Oh Beloved, You are the glue that holds me together. Help me to remember when my eye avert You, when I run, when I quench Your spirit and fall apart, You have not left.
You never leave."

life is good

Well, we're off to a good start. Every fear and anxiety I had coming into this semester has literally dissipated. The moment I got to Jackson, God gave me this overwhelming peace. And also this understanding of His voice saying "This time is not about you. It's all about outpouring and looking for others to invest in. Quit worrying about yourself and let me take care of your provision. Simply open your eyes and heart to the people I am blatantly placing in front of you."

That has changed my attitude and view of everything that's going on around me. I have joy in the Lord that I see echoed in my relationships. I see growth in places that were stagnant last year, or really the entire time I've been at college. I'm becoming so aware of all the ways I've put the Lord on the backburner. There are places in my life that I just shut off to Christ and decided I was capable to manage on my own. But God is teaching me about a holistic approach to relationship with Him. When I view my life as a whole, and recognize that my actions in one area completely affect my walk with Christ, then everything seems more black and white as far as whether or not I choose to follow Christ in every decision. I have not arrived, or gotten this under control... it's simply been a series of "Aha! moments" where the Lord is opening my eyes to the very places I tried to prevent Him from seeing.

I love this semester, the pace of my life as it's beginning to get busy. It's manageable only when surrendered to Christ, but that keeps me running back to Him on the days that I fail to surrender. It's showing me how to trust Him to provide and to only worry about how I can pour out to others. 

I've been blessed already by new friendships and encouragement from the most unexpected places, and I am continually seeing His hand at work in my life. God is good all the time, and all the time God is good!

Goin' to the Chapel...

This weekend I went to Little Rock, Arkansas for my big Olivia's wedding. I was lucky enough to be a bridesmaid, and we had such a fun time spending the last few precious hours of being single with sweet Olive. She was stunning, and such a testimony of God's faithfulness to see her journey come to this point with Jon. The wedding was beautiful, such a simple and sweet celebration of the body of Christ as His bride. I made sure to get all the highlights from the weekend:

On Friday morning Ethan and I drove from Clinton to Little Rock at 6 am and barely made it to the hotel in time to get ready for Olivia's bridesmaids luncheon. But I made it, and we were able to have such a relaxing, delicious lunch at this beautiful home. 

All weekend long, Olivia was beautiful. She made it look like it was summer outside with her pretty tan and beautiful smile.

The bridesmaids each got a ring as part of our bridesmaids' gifts. Olivia explained that she has been searching antique stores the last few months for a ring that reminded her of each bridesmaid. This was to represent how we are the bride of Christ and how special that is in her wedding celebration.

The rehearsal went beautifully, and we had such a fun time at rehearsal dinner watching a sweet video of Jon and Olivia's friends "toasting" them before the wedding. I know Ethan and I will both miss our double dates with Jon and Olivia having dinner/desert and movie nights. We're considering taking a trip to Waco to reunite!

I was so thankful to have Ethan there this weekend.. He made medicine runs for me when I wasn't feeling well, waited patiently while I had bridesmaids duties, and carried all of my stuff to the car when I had to be somewhere for pictures or what not. He was such a blessing and so incredibly servant hearted.

The flowers were beautiful, even though Olive didn't even know what they were going to be until she showed up. I loved how simple her sweet wedding was... so "Olivia" to trust all the details to fall into place.

Olivia was absolutely stunning. I couldn't stop taking pictures of her, trying to catch how beautiful she looked. Jon is one lucky husband!

The gown... it was perfect, and looked incredible on Olive. Sweet, skinny little thing..

Good friends and family, we were so glad to share this special day with Olivia.

Typical Olive to wear the party boots on her wedding day. No other shoes would have been apropritate for such a celebration!

I loved this one.. The ceremony was beautiful, I held it together until the end when I was standing by Jon and Olivia, kneeling at the altar and praying over one another. Perfect. Then the reception was so fun, and so simple. I couldn't stop smiling!

They were pretty calm with the cake... not too crazy!

Beautiful family. I was so glad everyone was here for Olive's beautiful day. We had fun!

All the Chi Omegas... We were well represented!

Singing Shades, I almost cried... so cheesy (like Big like Little)

My very favorite person. So grateful for this one.

 The Abernathys...

So good, helping her get her dress all inside.

And the beautiful sunset driving back to Clinton. Perfect ending to a perfect weekend.

Seasons..

My mom has always told me that God brings people in our life for a reason or a season or forever. I didn't understand the significance of that until this season has begun to end. This week has been hard saying goodbye to precious friends that I never want to lose. However, I understand why a season friendship is still a good thing. Sometimes those friends may have to leave for whatever reason... distance, moving, following God's leading, but God can use those season friendships to be the most significant sometimes.

God has given me glimpses into what the body of Christ is meant to be: friends who carry my burdens, share in my hurt, rejoice in my gladness, encourage me when I struggle, catch me when I fall, share their triumphs and allow me to be a part of their growing. They call me out when I am not seeking the things of the Lord. They hold me accountable to truth and guide me back to the Lord when I am searching. They wipe my tears, and laugh in joy with me. These are the precious friendships that the Lord has provided to carry me through this hard season. And although three of those closest, dearest friends will be gone tomorrow and this season is ending, I can rejoice that the Lord has allowed my heart to be encouraged by them. This chapter of my life has been precious, special and created friendships that will forever be close to heart. Saying goodbye for today doesn't mean forgetting about all the yesterdays or even having tomorrows to look forward to.

Soon I will get to stand next to Olivia as a beautiful bride and watch her relationship with Jon become a marriage that God can use to bless others as much as he has blessed me. I will get to hear about Lauren's journey to Botswana and all the lives she has been able to touch through her following God to Go and make disciples. I will continue to be encouraged by Mattie's obedience to follow God even when it's hard and leading her away from a place she was once called. These friendships are ones that are so hard to let go of in a tangible way, but that I know full well the Lord can continue to use even across oceans or states. God has blessed me beyond what I could have imagined through these precious women of the Lord and I am so eager to see what God has in store for the next season of life.

Although this goodbye is sad, and these friends are going to be missed dearly, I know that because I've seen God's provision in my life through them, He has no intention of leaving me to wander now. God's grace has blown me away the last few weeks and I can only imagine what He has in store for me next.

"All I have seen teaches me to trust Him for that I have not seen."

I'M A MOM!!!

What a craaaazy two weeks it has been. But I am proud to say I am now the proud mama of 25 new precious Chi Omega babies. Last Saturday Sept. 4 was BID DAY and after a long, tiring recruitment week, we were able to welcome home 25 new little ones. We had a very interesting rush week... the rules changed a lot and the rushing rate was low... but nevertheless the girls that were supposed to come join us are now proud new members.

Rush was so bittersweet with it being the first of many lasts for our seniors and my good friends. Lauren Surwic (right) joined Chi Omega with my pledge class but was a sophomore transfer from Memphis. Lauren intimidated me from the start... She's bold, confident, vocal, and more than I knew how to handle. I never anticipated her to become one of the most loyal, trustworthy, incredible friends I've ever had in my life.. much less the funniest. I laugh everytime I'm with her and I've learned more from her strength and trust in the Lord than I ever would have expected. This semester being her last fall as a college student is starting to sink in. Watching her grow up to become a woman of the Lord is challenging me in my own faith and it started to kick me in the butt last week as we cried on Pref night.

I'm surrounded by Lauren's up here and it was so fun to share Bid Day with my best friends. This year I was in charge of planning and coordinating everything for Bid Day since I'm the new pledge mom, so I was a tiny bit stressed out... But all week long my Lauren's were willing to do whatever I needed to help me get through, even listen to me cry about the surprise I got in my tshirt boxes.. but we won't go into detail there!

This little friend and roommate of mine also got me through the week and the day. Kendra is my assistant and she was such a blessing to have right next door sharing a bathroom and listening to my last minute thoughts of how to put everything together. Could not have pulled it off without her!

Bid Day was a busy day but so fun. The girls got their bids and came running to the house for cheers and chants and so much excitement I could hardly stand it. We took pictures outside and had fun proudly showing off our new little ones.

my best friends :)

After pictures we had pledge class skits and let the babies introduce themselves and say why they became a Chi Omega. I loved my girls who were already talking about red and yellow running in their veins! After lunch I had my first meeting with the new ones and just welcomed them to Chi Omega. Let me just brag on them for a bit... we have so many precious girls who love the Lord. We have athletes, scholars, dancers, and so many sweet hearts I could bust! We are so lucky!

After our meeting we had a little break and then decided to have some spontaneous sisterhood time with messy games outside.. it was SO FUN!

We played kickball, did messy games, and concluded with a little fountain bath :)

Later that night we had dinner at the house together and let the bigs-to-be and the new ones do speed dating. They got a chance to talk and get to know a few, then we let the seniors play hot seat... it was rather interesting and maybe a little extreme for a first night! ha welcome to chi omega, ladies :)

afterwards we had a Crazy Chi O Sisters Before Misters party.. It was so fun to see the girls deck out in their chi o stuff and just go crazy! We had SUCH a fun day.

Props to all my sweet friends who helped me make it through the week, and Ethan for listening to me breakdown a couple times, and all my mom's encouragement throughout the past couple weeks, and sweet Stacey doing everything and then some... more than I could ever imagine! I could not have made it without everyone's support :)

Now its time to get to know my sweet little ones and truly use the next three months to invest in their lives. I cannot wait!!!!

Rho beta for life.

I get by with a little help from my friends.

precious new roommates.

What a crazy few weeks its been, already! I moved in just over a week ago but I feel like I've been here forever. Rush started as of yesterday, so once we make it through the week I know things will calm down... but I can't help hoping that the semester is not this crazy.

Rush is such an interesting week, a necessary evil, but really I just cannot wait to have my new little babies running around and getting invested in Chi Omega. I've been praying for these girls who are anonymous for months now, so to finally have faces to go with their sweet hearts is going to be such a blessing. I just am praying for good time management and the willingness/ability to be open and available and vulnerable with these girls. What's the point of doing something if you can't share the love of Christ in the process???

I can't wait! It's been such a fun time seeing old friends again and remembering exactly what I love about school, life in Jackson and Chi Omega.

I missed this one.

annnnd these are my roommates, don't worry.

oh and with some help.....

we finished the tshirt quilt!!!!

birthday round two..

This past week flew by, but in a good way.. School is finally getting closer, which seems weird. Ethan moved back to school Friday, but not before giving me the sweetest birthday surprises.

Wednesday he picked me up and took me straight to World Market where he got me this beautiful jewelry box I'd be eying... eyeing? wanting. 

After our shopping adventure, I got to open the mysterious birthday box he had brought along. Inside I found four envelopes, each with a different restaurant labeled on the outside.

I had to choose one envelope (Habanero's obviously) which contained a sequence of options that would determine the rest of our plans for the day. In addition to the date plans, I got a phone call from a different friend each 30 minutes throughout the day to sing me a birthday song. Props to Olivia who rewrote this most awesome song on her drive from Waco to Jackson. Hilarious.

At lunch I got to open the envelope and choose Bruster's for desert, so we had ice cream and went to visit our new favorite, K nation.

Next was soccer in the student building, naturally, followed by shopping at the mall and running some errands. We spent the evening with Ethan's family at his house, and had a little visitor return for birthday cake and presents. I've officially adopted her as a part of my chi omega family.

After birthday round two, we spent the next two days just enjoying the end of summer.. swimming at the pool, being lazy and eating a lot of good food. Friday I left for Jackson to meet some friends and head to rush retreat at Natchez Trace. Haley planned everything and did an incredible job. It was so fun to see everyone again and get in the rush mood... One week from today I officially head back to school and all the craziness begins. I cannot wait to get 30+ little ones, meet new friends, and finally put faces to these girls I've been praying for for months now. I am eager to see the ways the Lord allows me to invest in these girls, and to pour into their lives through the ministry that ChiOmega can be when used as one. I am so excited!!!

new favorites

This week has been a fun reminder of how much I love church, ministry and the friends that come from those relationships formed. This year at school I was able to get to know Kristin Dutt much more, and just enjoy every single second I get to spend with her. She's hilarious, witty, smart and so genuinely interested in people's lives that it's hard to do anything but have fun when I spend time around her. After she graduated she moved to Birmingham and took the girls high school minster position at Shades. Ironically, this is my dream job I would give anything to do, so it's been fun to watch her transition into that.

Yesterday I got to listen to her teach a lesson/share her heart about relationships and purity according to Godly standards. I was so encouraged through her honesty and her insight into the Word. Tonight I got to spend the evening with her and Ethan having Purple Onion, Yogurt Lab, and sweet time at her new apartment. We played Jenga, cards, and the question game just laughing and enjoying the company of a new friend. I am so thankful that she's around and cannot wait to see all the ways the Lord uses her at Shades. I'm even more excited to spend a week at camp with her... New Wind and camp all in one month? Welcome to Shades, Kristin!

friends

God has been so faithful to encourage me the last few days through my friends. Coming home has been an easy adjustment through the help of my friends lately. I spent two nights with Kendall just hearing how the Lord is working in her life. I spent the day shopping with my mom who has constantly encouraged and supported me through this whole Africa process. I had dinner with Kaitlin and Mrs. Stephanie tonight and was reminded of how God can work in any situation, at any time, in the hardest circumstances. I had a chat with Liz Wainscott last night and was reminded of how God is always enough for us when we wait patiently for His timing and follow His plans.

I've also been reminded of other qualities of our great God through peoples blogs. I got behind on following everyone while I was away, so I spent yesterday afternoon catching up. I love the use of written words, it's probably my favorite form of communication or expression, so to read people's hearts in words is something I treasure. And when those words are words of God's faithfulness, tales of His provision, and challenges to seek Him more... well I consider that the greatest form of encouragement one can find! I am so thankful so my friends and how God knows He can always speak to me through them.

Two of my favorite women in the whole world.

always laughing. such a good best friend :)

sweet friends at Roly Poly