thankful

Things I am thankful for:

God's provision and timing. Being home and resting has been the best medicine for the last crazy two weeks. God knew exactly what a refreshing time this would be.

My new sister-to-be, Tori. Paul proposed today! We were so excited to watch as he told Tori how thankful he was to have her in his life, then sweetly asked her to spend her life with him. Let's not forget the beautiful ring ;) I am so excited to finally have a sister to call my own.

My precious family and my new understanding of why we function the ways that we do. Vessels and flowers, thank you.

Ethan. He's coming home tonight and I am beyond blessed to have had someone patient and gentle enough to bear with me through this crazy season in life. I am so thankful for the clear representation of grace I see in his life toward me in my weaknesses.

My friends. Despite those who will be leaving, I will forever be grateful for the fun, encouragement, the challenges and the good things the Lord has shown me through their willingness and faithfulness to invest in my life. I am blessed more than I can ever explain.

Carrot cake. Mom's dressing. Mammaw's rolls. Milo's. Yummm.

surrender.

How many times must I be reminded to let go?

That letting go is not giving up... not quitting... not losing hope.

Letting go is about relinquishing control over something you really can't take care of on your own.

Surrender.

Giving up your ideas for the better one He has.

Well what a lesson of trust and surrender the Lord has been leading me through lately. God has literally allowed me to be completely broken to pieces, completely forced to relinquish every bit of control I have left in me. And it kinda sucks. But its so good for me I recognize. Recently there has been surprise after surprise, little changes that make a big difference all at once.

With friends, God has literally stripped me of the few people I've let in my life at school. My roommate and best friend will be spending the semester in Botswana, Africa next semester. My big is getting married in December and moving to Waco, Texas. My newest friend that the Lord has placed in my life told me this week that she'll be transferring to Louisiana College in the spring. My other close friend will be student teaching and virtually unable to be the friend next door who can go and do freely. God has begun to close doors in these relationships which is so hard since I am slow to let my walls down to the core of me. And these four women are the ones who have been able to get into my squishy as Mattie calls it.. my inside vulnerabilities, fears and weaknesses. Now that I've let them in, they are all leaving. And although I fully support each one and trust that God is leading them where they must go, it's the realization that my support, my comfort in friendships is going to be practically absent next semester.

I recognize in these situations as well as others that God has been pointing out holes in, that He is teaching me to surrender. To let go of the control that I crave. To relinquish my hold on having everything my own way. And to trust that He truly has my best interest at heart. But my heart and my head aren't on the same page yet. And I cannot pretend that the hurt my heart is feeling isn't outweighing the logical knowledge that God is just refining me in this time. My big Olivia explained that sometimes God wants us to deeply feel the sorrow of brokenness so that we can fully appreciate his restoration and joy.

This is a time of growth that is necessary and good, but the process is always the hardest. Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same, its been such an evident truth in my life lately and I know God's grace will give me the strength to get to the joyful side of things, but the journey is about to be long. I'm learning to surrender each day, trusting God in the process, and hoping for the best in the end.

hit me in the face

You know how God has a way of letting someone or something say the truth your heart needs to hear on that day you seem to be struggling with it most? Like when you go to church on Wednesday night and the sermon is so accurate to your life that you are convinced your pastor is a peeping Tom. Or when you have a happenstance conversation with a friend in passing who shares her burdens that oh, how ironic, I'm struggling with today too.


I hate those convictions, but crave that truth God so willingly shares with me. Lately He's been doing that a lot.


My pastor, a few Sundays ago, explained that this happens in our life when truth is preached or spoken. Naturally those things convict our heart because God's truth is consistent, applicable and just speaks to our hearts in almost any situation since the truth is relative to each of us in a specific way. Lately I am having a hard time seeing those closest to me through the lens the Lord sees them, and me. I am quick to carry judgments and standards in my heart in order to protect myself and those around me. This is particularly a struggle when the judgments I carry are poor of my closest friends. And I can be totally aware of it, but not know how to handle it. Well God knew today I needed a slap in the face with the truth Romans 2 provides. Thanks for this:


¹ You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. ² Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. ³ So when you, a mere human being, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment? ⁴ Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?
Romans 2:1-4


Tonight I had coffee with my friend and her dad who came to visit for a few days from out of town. In the conversations I've had with her dad, I've always appreciated his insight and wisdom that he offers, as well as the ability he carries to see through the real issue to the heart of my problems. Tonight he shared the devotion he read this morning which he himself had been struggling with. It used this passage and reminded me, ever so gently like a ton of bricks the wrongfulness of my sin. Peeping Tom at his finest... God always uses these instances to humble and bring me to the throne only to be shown that the grace I am withholding, He is lavishly pouring out on me even in my ignorance and sin. Our God, truly, is an awesome God.

GET HER TO BOTSWANA!!

My best friend and roommate Lauren Reeves is going to Botswana, Africa next semester from mid-January to mid-May. She has been before and is so excited to be returning to work with Hands On through the IMB. This is Lauren's heart, she is so mission minded and eager to spread the Gospel. She feels called to vocational missions and can barely wait to get out of America and over to another country! I am so proud of her and the way she is seeking the Lord through her preparation for this trip. I've helped her start up a blog that she will be using to update before and during her trip. She also has set up a PayPal account to help raise funds for the semester. We've also got a tshirt designed if you would be interested in supporting her trip this way. Please visit her blog and help anyway you feel led, especially through prayer as we go to the Lord on her behalf. She's such a warrior for the Gospel and I am blessed to call her my best friend.

this is the tshirt design we have for her trip!

Her blog address is: http://laureninbotswana.blogspot.com

If you don't know Lauren but would like to support, feel free to contact me about a tshirt or any other questions you may have! My email is Rachael894@gmail.com
Thanks friends :)

God teaches

I've recently been introduced to a book that I cannot get enough of. It's called Vessels & Flowers by Sally Pickard and Brenda Dulmage and it's completely transformed my way of thinking about and interacting with others.

The book is a look at why women of God function and behave the way they do. They explain how we are born with a set number of receptors which allow our brain to take in information in different ways, making us an introvert or an extrovert accordingly. This determines our temperament. The temperament demonstrates itself in one of 5 vessels: The Vase, the Basket, the Golden Pouch, the Pitcher and the Velvet Box (in order from most extroverted to most introverted). I am a pitcher.

The way we display our temperament is described through our flowers: the Tulip (leader), Iris (teacher), Rose (perceiver), Orchid (economist), Dogwood (facilitator), Daisy (encourager), and Pansy (comforter). I am a dogwood.

I live with a Pouch/pansy, a Pitcher/tulip, and a Basket/daisy. It has explained SO MUCH! Seriously. It explains why we handle situations differently, how we think about certain problems, how we get our feelings hurt, how we show love, how we feel loved, what we need to feel comfortable and confident.. And on and on. The women explain how vessels of honor are reflective of their creator and are not limited to one vessel or one flower since God can bless you with multiple functions, but it does explain so much about the different qualities you find in the primary vessels and flowers.

If you want to know more, and you should, you can buy the book here: http://www.vesselsandflowers.com/

I've also been encouraged to love others differently once I am able to recognize their needs more readily. By seeing how people interact and respond to situations, we've adopted our own vessels and flowers lingo... its so interesting!

But the most important thing I've learned in this process is that the Lord can consistently teach you through others. The Lord uses people in my life to teach such hard lessons: lessons about letting go, trust, being vulnerable, needing others, and pursuing healthy, God honoring friendships. I feel as if lately God has placed me on the outside of so many situations only to say sit back and watch me move. Watch how I am going to grow these friends of yours up in their faith, and you can't do anything for them but encourage and pray for them in the process as they learn. It's a hard place to be. Part of being a Pitcher is wanting to always control the situation and find the most practical answer. Well, there also lies the most challenging aspect of being a Pitcher: giving God control. And He has faithfully taught me the pros and cons of this over the last few months. I am thankful for the friendships God has placed in my life and grateful to be growing, but its been challenging in so many ways. God is capable of handling not only my problems but everyone else's as well!

long time no blog.

it may be sad that I couldn't remember the web address for my blog, but I blame it on junior year of college meets being GM meets a general lack of desire to spend any free time on the computer besides checking email occasionally. However now that I have such exciting pictures to share of places such as Corn Palace, and Mount Rushmore I thought it was time for an update :)

This past weekend was Fall Break. Which I've decided is so much more enjoyable when there is legit fall weather accompanying the break. Although the last two fall breaks and spring breaks I have spent at home or in various cities in the south, I felt like breaking tradition this year. So I packed up my roomate's car and we took a little road trip to Rapid City, South Dakota. Just me, Lauren, her sister and Allison in one Honda Civic driving 1,200 miles (twice) to spend a few days with La's family in the midwest.

Now what, you may ask, is in South Dakota besides livestock and wheat fields? a LOT. More than you would ever guess! And more than Mount Rushmore (which was by far the highlight and made me so proud to be American I could bust)

We drove half the way, spent the night in Iowa, drove the other half and finally, 28 hours after the original departure time, found our way Lauren's home. Allison caught all the highlights on film, as seen by our excitement for the road sign :)

Here's you chance to be jealous: THE WORLD'S ONLY CORN PALACE, where everything is made of corn and the murals change every few months. We were lucky enough to experience the palace during American Pride month.

I made a new friend at La's house, CC. Shelley--don't be jealous, CC kind of smells bad, but she was my friend since I like petting puppies.

I've recently been reading this book called Vessels and Flowers that my big gave me. It talks about the different personalities of women and how they interact with one another. It's been a huge conversation point in our friend group lately. This trip was so interesting to see how a Golden Pouch (Lauren), and Pitcher (me), and a Vase (Allison) all interact with one another. God was teaching me a lot about genuine acceptance of others and unconditional love.

It was such a blessing to go home with my best friend. I think you can learn so much about watching a person interact in their most natural environment. For Lauren this is definitely her family. It was fun to watch her be completely confident in herself and her surroundings and be encouraged reciprocally by those closest to her.

The majority of our activities were outside, which was nice since the beautiful, crisp fall air was everywhere we went. We hiked, we walked, we toured.. it was the perfect time of year for our visit. South Dakota is beautiful btw.

I was also so glad to have the opportunity to meet Lauren's good friends back home. The Joyal family has become a huge blessing in the Reeves' lives and Kelsey (far right) is the oldest of their three children. We got to go hiking on this beautiful mountain with Kelsey, her boyfriend Eric, and her two brothers Derek and Tyler.

This was one of my favorite parts of the trip: Art Alley. It's a long alley between buildings just covered in art. Grafitti covers the walls and everywhere you look there is this incredible painting of something, someone, some words.. It was kind of sensory overload, but it was so fun and felt surreal like we were on a movie set. Allison was freakin the whole time.

Our last tourist destination before returning was Wall Drug. Where the heck is Wall Drug? you may ask.. Well it's about an hour from Rapid City in Wall, South Dakota and it's about as random as it sounds. There is probably more memorabilia representing Wall Drug than there are actual activities to do. However, it was exciting being that it's like taking Cracker Barrel and turning it into a tourist location: random, eclectic, and makes for some fun finds. 

Another highlight of the trip: Allison being hilarious. This tank top she bought at Wall Drug was like a transformation. Put on the tank: alter ego. Ridiculous and so fun. We found this little town for a bathroom break and couldn't resist Allison being the princess she is to have her diva picture taken :)

God is so good and I was reminded this break of how blessed I am by my friends as well as this beautiful country we call home.

I'M A MOM!!!

What a craaaazy two weeks it has been. But I am proud to say I am now the proud mama of 25 new precious Chi Omega babies. Last Saturday Sept. 4 was BID DAY and after a long, tiring recruitment week, we were able to welcome home 25 new little ones. We had a very interesting rush week... the rules changed a lot and the rushing rate was low... but nevertheless the girls that were supposed to come join us are now proud new members.

Rush was so bittersweet with it being the first of many lasts for our seniors and my good friends. Lauren Surwic (right) joined Chi Omega with my pledge class but was a sophomore transfer from Memphis. Lauren intimidated me from the start... She's bold, confident, vocal, and more than I knew how to handle. I never anticipated her to become one of the most loyal, trustworthy, incredible friends I've ever had in my life.. much less the funniest. I laugh everytime I'm with her and I've learned more from her strength and trust in the Lord than I ever would have expected. This semester being her last fall as a college student is starting to sink in. Watching her grow up to become a woman of the Lord is challenging me in my own faith and it started to kick me in the butt last week as we cried on Pref night.

I'm surrounded by Lauren's up here and it was so fun to share Bid Day with my best friends. This year I was in charge of planning and coordinating everything for Bid Day since I'm the new pledge mom, so I was a tiny bit stressed out... But all week long my Lauren's were willing to do whatever I needed to help me get through, even listen to me cry about the surprise I got in my tshirt boxes.. but we won't go into detail there!

This little friend and roommate of mine also got me through the week and the day. Kendra is my assistant and she was such a blessing to have right next door sharing a bathroom and listening to my last minute thoughts of how to put everything together. Could not have pulled it off without her!

Bid Day was a busy day but so fun. The girls got their bids and came running to the house for cheers and chants and so much excitement I could hardly stand it. We took pictures outside and had fun proudly showing off our new little ones.

my best friends :)

After pictures we had pledge class skits and let the babies introduce themselves and say why they became a Chi Omega. I loved my girls who were already talking about red and yellow running in their veins! After lunch I had my first meeting with the new ones and just welcomed them to Chi Omega. Let me just brag on them for a bit... we have so many precious girls who love the Lord. We have athletes, scholars, dancers, and so many sweet hearts I could bust! We are so lucky!

After our meeting we had a little break and then decided to have some spontaneous sisterhood time with messy games outside.. it was SO FUN!

We played kickball, did messy games, and concluded with a little fountain bath :)

Later that night we had dinner at the house together and let the bigs-to-be and the new ones do speed dating. They got a chance to talk and get to know a few, then we let the seniors play hot seat... it was rather interesting and maybe a little extreme for a first night! ha welcome to chi omega, ladies :)

afterwards we had a Crazy Chi O Sisters Before Misters party.. It was so fun to see the girls deck out in their chi o stuff and just go crazy! We had SUCH a fun day.

Props to all my sweet friends who helped me make it through the week, and Ethan for listening to me breakdown a couple times, and all my mom's encouragement throughout the past couple weeks, and sweet Stacey doing everything and then some... more than I could ever imagine! I could not have made it without everyone's support :)

Now its time to get to know my sweet little ones and truly use the next three months to invest in their lives. I cannot wait!!!!

Rho beta for life.