All of these little acronyms have been taught to me over the years and are some of my favorite things to write in my journal. I've always been one to journal my quiet time prayers and write down the times I spend with the Lord. Although I never capture all the thoughts and prayers I have throughout the day, its fun for me to see in writing the biggest concerns in my life, the best praises, and all the little things along the way that I've been giving to the Lord.
When I get to write the ways God has answered that prayer, I love to look back on those GAP entries. Today I believe is just such an example of God's way of knowing my heart. The other day my facebook status was:
God has a way of knowing the desires of our hearts and graciously giving them when we least expect it. Don't forget God does enjoy giving you those good things that please Him!
A few days later I was praying that the Lord would confirm the calling I've felt to ministry since the 7th grade. I can vividly remember every detail of the night I felt called to the Lord, and call to full-time ministry. I was 12, the summer after 7th grade, and sitting in the balcony at Student Life Camp in Ruston, Louisiana. Joel Engle was leading the worship that week and we were singing a song where the chorus went "You are the vine, I am the branch, Jesus I'm holding onto you". Instantly the Lord just broke me and led me to the realization that those words weren't true of me. I just didn't care about what the Lord wanted I had become SO selfish, true to the middle school years. I crumpled into the realization that I had to give my life to the Lord, and not just on a daily basis, but for the rest of my life. And that was the first time I ever felt the Lord leading me to full-time vocational ministry.
For the last seven years I've planned my life around this calling. I've felt the Lord confirming it throughout the years... showing me strengths in this area, giving me opportunities to serve and do ministry, and most importantly by blessing me with the constant discipleship and ministry Shades has offered the last seven years. I picked Social Work as my major because I felt the Lord confirming that through Social Work, I could learn how to meet the physical, mental, non-spiritual needs that real life presents through individuals. Union was my number one choice for college because of the way they combine Christian faith and learning... all to prepare me for ministry.
Last semester I went through a rough time just doubting my calling, doubting my decisions in social work through some conversations I had, and feeling confused about everything. But through much prayer, many tears, and a LOT of Scripture searching, the Lord graciously reminded me that His plans for me may not always make sense to another person, but to Him they are the best plan for my life, and to be obedient and follow is all I really needed to do. So I spent the summer in South Africa doing social work with a Christian organization and remembering my passion for helping people.
A few days ago when I was journaling my prayers, I just asked God to confirm my calling however He wanted, even if it wasn't what or where I'd be expecting. Today through some conversations and potential internships already being opened for next summer, God completely confirmed that as a direction I need to be following. I was not expecting such a quick reply, and I am still praying through the possibility just to be sure it's not me reading into anything, but I was quickly reminded of my own facebook post, and that through that God truly does want to graciously give us our desires when they are for His heart... I was blown away by that realization tonight.
Thank you God, for knowing my heart, and graciously, lovingly offering me the deepest desires... you are amazing :)
So encouraged by you Rachael. The Lord is going to use you in Mighty Ways!!
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